Growing up, my mom always had her fresh flowers at home — rose, chrysanthemums, gerbera, lily, hydrangeas. It really depended on her mood... I didn't think much of it, it was just something she did like cooking or gardening.

But then, I moved out, had my own space and naturally, I bought flowers for my room— need a living thing in the room. The room felt so dead without it. And now? I get it. I enjoy the ritual, trying different arrangements, testing which ones lasts longer (pro tip: statice are champions) 

Not everything beautiful meant to last

Everything in this world is ultimately on loan from Allah. Nothing is really mine — not my parents, my friends, my pet (i don't have a pet, just saying), my car, my career, my partner (yeah this too, notchet) and even the flowers I put in a vase. But that's what makes it even more special. I gotta remind myself that these are fleeting beauty. I must take care of it, serve with love, give the best I can within my capacity while it is still here. To love fully, to show up, to be present, to appreciate things while they last — people too.

I don't want to live holding back. And if anything, my biggest wish is just to be able to say "I have done my best" before I die (to everything, everyone). That's it.

Today, I took a day off. I wasn't feeling well. Felt better during lunch (ayah was around here and he picked me up— happy me 🥹) And I went to get some flowers. Now I am home again, and the dizziness is back. But I am listening to a really beautiful playlist, and somehow it matches the exact same mood of the room.

Alhamdulillah — what more could I ask for? 🥹💞

Hey, a reminder. Yes, not everything beautiful meant to last and I hope you know, not everything painful is here to stay either. Heavy moments pass too. Let's be kind to ourselves through it all. You'll be okay.