Last year in a training session, I heard something that stuck with me about two kinds of people in the world – energy sucker and one who brings light and good energy into the space.

I still remember so clearly in one of the sessions, a man turned to me and gave me platonic compliment:

"You are actually one of the people that light up the room every time we meet." 

I wanted to say it is simple words but no, it is not. It carries weight, my heart swelled. Such a kind thing to say. You can choose to say anything like "you are kind", "you are cheerful," etc but that.. those words linger.  

On a personal note, I've always felt like a ball of sunshine. I believed it too... until I didn't. I asked myself, is this me growing out of that phase or have circumstances pushed me into this state? And then I realized, it was actually my own choices. I can be overly optimistic on most things (99%) and I didn't prioritize myself. I would feel bad/guilty for letting others down, so I kept extending myself for anything until it quietly took a toll on me.

The thing is, those small choices when you keep putting yourself last will slowly deposit a kind of invisible damage inside you. You won't notice it at first but trust me one day you Just. Cant. Hold it. ANYMORE. IT EXPLODES, your light diminished and gone. And you sit there in the car (its me) crying and asking, WTH happened? All I did was care for people....

......... OMG, guys macam dah lari topik haha okay, okay anyway my point is – 

                      Toooday, I received a compliment:

And yesterday, my brother JUST. REALIZED. I am actually productive on weekend. I was like, what does he mean?? Im always occupied (with work) and that itself is considered productive day, apa, but actually I know what he meant. On his term, it means that he can feel my presence at home. I am physically home. and I am doing chores. Regularly haha I am not sure whether it is a good thing or not because honestly, sometimes...  I am annoyed jugaklah with Damia and Adam (and yes, apart from my own messiness) but tbrh, I enjoy it – doing house chores, keeping things in order and maintaining the space. In fact, I am proud that our apartment feels cozy and homie and not like the typical rumah bujang scene (and smells 😮‍💨)  

And the best part? when everyone comes together to tolong lipat baju weee (this was yesterday, btw) 

Well, another friend mentioned that my face looks brighter too hihi I love it when people notice, shanks. My light is radiating again. I genuinely feel it and I am glad that others can feel it too. It's affirming 🥹  Truth be told, I am happier and proud I made a stand for myself especially in professional settings. 

All in all, I owe a lot to Augustus (code name) whom I crossed path with and always emphasizing on self-love. If it wasn't for you, I would probably stuck in the same hell loop. So, thank youu ;)

So... dear readers, protect your energy, your peace and your light and ask yourself: